Decision time, takes time

And on the second day of January, my tarot gave to me, the card of two swords. With swords we are piercing into the mental realm. Swords correspond to the element of air, which deals with intellect and thought. It is a two, and so deals with duality in some way. In the case of the two of swords, themes like a stalemate, a truce and crossroads are represented. Being between two decisions, struggling to make one, or avoiding making one. This card is about facing our fears, or being blind to them. 

When looking at it, it shows a woman standing at waters edge, behind her a great lake with mountains and a large crescent moon in the sky. Her back is turned to the scene with two swords in her two hands. She is blindfolded, blind and holds her swords crossed against her chest. There is duality all through these symbols. Is she guarding her heart or blocking it off? Is she blind to the truths of the world or is her focus turned acutely inward? Is she struggling to make a choice or ready to swing at any point she chooses? 

I find myself enthralled at the meanings and symbols of these cards. The way different ideas are laced together, connecting areas of our thoughts and lives that may have been hidden to us otherwise. Using them to pinpoint certain moments amongst the landscapes of ourselves. 

The two of swords, it could call for a pause of action, a pause to make a decision. I think we usually see making a decision as an action, as part of our doing. But here, this card, tells me that a decision is a pause from action. A decision happens before action, or because of it. The number two is often about balance, as well as choice and partnership. This card feels balanced, the scene is very focused and centred. In a reading it could mean that balance between intellect and intuition is needed.

Personally, I feel a fear towards the suit of swords. I always have, I feel undeserving of them, or not part of them. I identify with pentacles, the earth cards, they are a part of my narrative as I have grown up with the Taurus horoscope held over me. I admire the cups and wish to be accepted by them. To be a flowing, intuitive person. I feel far from the wands, I don’t bother them and they don’t bother me. Their energy is welcome and necessary but I’ve never seen myself as ‘fiery’. Although all these identities are shifting and melting as I’ve allowed myself objective viewing of myself. But in that old mind of me, the patterns that still stir, the swords, the air, how enchanting they are. It is a strange concept, to hold so much meaning to suits, to elements, all because of how we identify things and project those things onto us. Or we project ourselves onto the themes rather. External tools to read ourselves. Which sums up what tarot is to me. 

Back to the theme of the day. The importance of making a decision. Not just making the decision. The process of how big decisions are made. What is being considered, what are the key elements in the choice and have they been weighed accurately? We make so many decisions in our lives but not all choices are hard to make and it is in those hard choices that this moment of pause is so vital. I think that this is what this cards draws attention to. And so, it can indicate a stalemate, being stuck in that pause. It can mean a truce, where the pause is agreed too and surrendered to. A crossroads, the part of the road where we are forced to stop, turn to and look at each road ahead before taking the first step towards one. 

This crossroads could point to something internal. As tarot cards often do, they show us the possibilities of our inner worlds as well the outer. This decision could be a point of view, a shift from one option to another, not with action but with mindset. 

Life is all about mindset and perspective. Another aspect of tarot that intrigues me, it is not only what the card represents but what you see in it and what resonates. At this moment I look at the two of swords, which popped out today (after the ace of cups from yesterday flew out again first) and I’m weary of it. I’m wondering what I’m blind to. That’s what me, on a personal level today, sees I feel like the (cat) woman in the card, I’m blindfolded, ready with my swords crossed over my heart, but I don’t know what’s coming. I don’t know where, when or why, to swing. 

Today this card is telling me to calm and centre myself, to focus inward and hone my awareness. I feel like Neo in the matrix, when he finally landed from jumping off that very tall building. Then the fear creeps in, that I’ll be Neo the first time he tries and fall flat on my face. But do I have the safety net of the matrix? Can I be pulled back, unplugged and go in for another go? Actually, yea, probably, just dust myself off and try again (not a literal jump off a building ok). 

I feel a sense of preparedness from this card. Sitting by that water, swords in hand, eyes covered and all the while, preparing. Not waiting, preparing. The action is coming, how can it not when I’m sitting there holding two swords? Even that she’s holding two swords points to a pause before action, because what could I possibly do with two swords in hand? Other than swing them of course, but I cannot engage in anything else, I’ve got hands full of swords. 

It is a valuable and wise lesson, what I’ve discovered in the two of swords. There is a pause in the moment of decision, a pause that should be honoured and used to explore the choice if needed. A pause that should encourage preparing for whatever is next, even if the decision is unmade. 

This is about observing the choices, seeing the paths. Letting consciousness expand into objectivity, a pause for detachment, before a commitment.