Conflict will always have a price

I pulled a card a couple of days ago and I didn’t get a chance to write about it. I spent a large chunk of that day arguing and debating with my brother; I’ve been staying at his house over the holidays. We had been going over our differences in our political, social, economic opinions. We’ve been doing better, longer conversations, fewer fights. I came to pull a card; the five of swords, a complicated card that centres around conflict, tension and putting fights before people. I didn’t have time, I didn’t write. Self sabotage could be another theme associated with this card. 

I sat down to write today and decided to pull a card again, as that day had passed and I wanted a new card to see todays vibe. I shuffled, asking a card to pop out. The five of swords flew out immediately. Evidently, I want to write about conflict. And complexity. It is a complicated card in the tarot.

The imagery: The five of swords shows a serious figure in the foreground, holding three swords with two others scattered nearby. In the background two more figures, turned away, defeated, beaten, retreating. The ground is hard and cracked, the sky dark and cloudy. Everything in this picture says tension, says hardship. Is this a victory for the foreground figure? If it is, it has come at a price. 

The number five; usually associated with change and challenge, freedom and adventure. It is a number of adaptability, when we see this number alongside the energy of swords, we can get moral dilemmas, battles of the mind, intellectual conflicts. The swords being the suit of intellect and carrying themes of the mind.

I have always struggled with conflict. With how to navigate it. I have a tendency to either get overwhelmed, triggered and act out of emotion or respond only with intellect and be completely detached. One is hard to deal with and the other cold and unyielding. I see neither as a strength, both are defences and I see how this card warns against that. It highlights how we often put the conflict in the priority seat, choosing the win over the relationship. I think we do this mostly unintentionally, a lot of the time unaware of the role we play, or with the stubborn belief that we are in the right. The two figures in background could depict friends or family that we have turned our backs on in the name of claiming those swords. Forgetting them in the need for victory. This happens but there is of course another way to read it. Claiming those swords could be an act of finally standing up for oneself. Finally addressing conflict and banishing what is no good for you. 

Both of these scenarios come at a cost, which is what this card really shows. The cost of conflict. Whether the loss is unnecessary and foolish or the price was worth it and needed, conflict will always demand consequences. 

The word consequences is used far more to depict undesirable results rather than a wanted outcome. But consequences can be very healing from conflict. Things can be brought to light during a battle. Things that needed the heat and pressure of an argument to surface. Much like lava needs pressure to surface from a volcano, as do our insecurities and secrets sometimes. Conflict can offer this tool. It can act as the catalyst to break something that was for too long nailed shut. At the same time, as we all know, conflict can just break. There are things that can be said or done that fail to meet the requirements of helpful consequence. Things that hurt and damage. This card is a warning, to balance victory with fairness, and treasure relationships.

As this card has come up for me this past week, I see it as a time to reflect on my approach to conflict. Both in the past and how I go into whatever conflicts come up for me next. There are usually ways to deal with things that are rooted in honesty and fairness rather than chasing a victory. A way to pull strength from the swords rather than swinging first. You are not alone in conflict, however, so whatever your approach, the outcome will never be entirely in your hands, but your choices are.

Then there is the reverse. The reverse could be a much more favourable card to pull. As it would suggest conflict resolution, making peace with inner turmoil or understanding past errors and making amends. As with all the reverse meanings in the tarot, one side is a door to the other. So if you struggle with conflict and can never seem to handle it well, the way to better management is through your ways, not erasing them. Through reflection and adaptation we can use our current habits to shape our new pathways and all we need to do to start, is admit the truth of how we are right now, reflect on what is on the other end of that spectrum and take steps to implementing something new. Wow, so easy… in theory of course.  

Sometimes, this card could be pointing to inner conflict. An internal battle that is struggling to come to a resolution. Struggling with a lie, or decision, or even struggling with how to struggle. I know that has been me. Fighting with myself about how I handle my own thoughts, my own emotions. Arguing with myself on how to do better. Hurting myself all in the name of finding a solution. In this case the solution was to just put the swords down. No other action, no fighting. 

I find conflict much easier to deal with when I can detach from it, take it seriously but not let it in. When there is enough self worth and love to be the keeper of what gets into my foundations and when. I used to allow chaos when conflict started, I would enter a car crash, left to rummage through the wreckage when I came to. Now, I can stop the car, get out and have the talk, maybe I’ll scrape a curb on occasion but there is not such serious danger anymore. 

In the end I think the most important part of conflict, is that it has a place. We should not run from it, try to fix it or erase it. It is a part of life, which is why it is a part of the tarot. Whether we like it or not, learn from it or not, conflict will always play a part in how we relate to each other, so we may as well try and get good at it.